A sign to stop or a test of determination?

Posted: August 7, 2012 in Shooting
Tags: ,

I have been filling this blog with several entries so far all about shooting. And here’s another one. Again.

I don’t know how to kick off this entry. Maybe I’ll start with my initial plan.

I gave myself a time. A duration. A period. To make it into the national team. And that period ends before I ORD. But as it seems, things haven’t been happening the way I want it to be these days, these years. Something about my life is just feeling so messed up here. Apart from feeling messed up, there are 2 factors which has changed the game plan quite significantly. First, the way the sporting scene or at least, the local shooting scene, is developing, just doesn’t seem to give the respect athletes should be deserving. Well, that’s how I look at it. And I shan’t go into the details of what’s it and what’s not in this whole organisation. It’s off the topic and boils my blood to talk about it. A total waste of useful energy. Second, yet again, somehow it always seems that the government has a hand in it – National Service. NS seriously disrupts my whole life. PERIOD. You thought there would be time to train. More time to keep training. Let me tell you, that’s a freaking no. And definitely not more. As a matter of fact, much less!

So 2 things. Just 2 things and it changed the whole game plan.

And based on the original route, it’s either a make or break situation.

So make = national team…
break = byebye shooting, at least in singapore

Well then, I am going to ORD in Sep, which is like in about a month’s time. And I don’t know. Am I going really going to stop?

BIG QUESTION MARK.

Air Rifle hasn’t been developing well ever since after Singapore Open. I changed my position. I changed quite a bit of everything to try to suit the configs for my standing in 3-positions but everything is going awry. It’s placing extra strain on my left shoulder. Increasing the load, numbing out my shoulder and getting me headaches. Damn this shoulder injury, seriously. Damn hell, I’m at a serious loss on what I should even do.

Smallbore. Well, I am stuck back to training prone nowadays. And bloody hell, it’s getting worse by each training. I am not even working on Standing and Kneeling anymore here. And prone, the only event I thought I could really start drilling and excelling just shuts me dumbfounded these days with all the shots going haywire. Can’t even shoot a damn decent grouping. DAMN IT. SERIOUSLY. I NEED TO VENT!!!

Budget’s cut. Zero income for September and October. So now August, I’ve gotta cut every single expense. So Air Rifle trainings are out. Or rather more likely, I’ve come to a decision: I’m stopping Air Rifle.

Oh yes yes, I did notice another thing though. Got to seriously convert to contact lenses for 50m. Can’t see shit with my shooting glasses and the astigmatism. But budget’s cut! Can’t even get contacts now. ARGHHHHH!!!!

Coming back to the question, are these all signs to tell me: I should stop shooting altogether now in Singapore, or is it just another test of determination to see how long I can last? Honestly, no idea. I want so much to shoot, to train, to get better. But am I gonna ditch all these trainings that I’ve put so much sweat and money into just like that?

Sigh. There are doors open for me to continue training but right now, I am the one to choose whether to shut those doors or step through them. I need a coach, desperately. I’m struggling with shooting smallbore with a book from Germany, even though it’s damn useful. It’s like shooting in the dark to find the right target. It’ll take ages and I feel like it’s a waste of bullets. SO MANY ROUNDS WASTED ON TRYING TO HIT THE DAMN TARGET IN THE DARK!

It’s driving me nuts.
I just need help…

…sigh

 

Advertisements

Airtime here!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s