Pre-ASM Training

Posted: February 12, 2012 in Shooting
Tags: , , ,

This post comes a little late because I only decided to start a whole new blog recently. So essentially, it’s overdue by about 2-3 weeks?

Anyway, I will be having my shooting matches tomorrow, on Monday 13 February 2012, and that will mark the end of my competitive role in ASM 2012.

Wait, I forgot to mention what ASM stands for. It basically means Army Shooting Meet, a shooting competition within the whole army force itself, competing in different disciplines like pistol, rifle, MGs, etc.

Now that my time in this competition is about to end, let’s just pause and rewind back to the point before I embarked on this short-term detour from my service in NS.

When I first received news of when to report to my temporary attached unit to start my training for ASM, I was bombarded with so many uncertainties and doubts, and even fears. There was so much apprehension within me. I could not decide whether I should be going for the training. First of first, being an athlete, I never liked to take on a competition in which I was totally unclear of. There were too many unknowns and most of all, we had to us only a month to train and compete. Obviously, no athlete in the right mind who is doing a new thing for the first time would head out to compete within a month or less. Much worse if it is for shooting.

Although I must highlight that the ground of competitors from other formations within the army were mostly newbies to the environment too, it still doesn’t remove my sense of insecurity in participating. And eventually, it proved pretty accurate in which it takes a toll on my performance.

There were many fears too. I would say some of these fears, though, can be isolated with the use of mental skills. But apparently, certain issues become like a poison in the mind when people and organisations overly emphasize on them. And they truly limit you from doing your best.  It’s like you know you isolated it, but at the back of your head, in your subconscious, it’s banging and rippling its strength to overwhelm you. For example, with the army being the army, and Singapore being Singapore, such activity, though a more competitive form, can still be liable for chargeable offences. Ain’t that true? Never mind that fact, because the poison was deeply ingrained long before this experience – during BMT.  And that is exactly what I call, Inception. It’s the exact same concept, same principles. They plant a seed of poison into your head, let it germinate with time, and it takes over you, making you vulnerable all over.

And you know what, it definitely sucks, big time.

Nevertheless, after talking to some people, I decided to give it a try, at least for the first training. It was a tough call to make, really. Up against so many negativity, I couldn’t just stand up and push them all away from my head. It just didn’t seem possible, or maybe I was simply choosing avoidance. Even at this point of time, just a day before the match, I still have so many doubts and fears within me. (I know there’s a lot of negativity, in bits and pieces all over this entry. But I think, it’s still healthy, for now.)

Something in me, though, convinced me to go ahead and take it as an experience. Because it said that although, what seems blur then, would become clear, and it’s worth the risk to step in and experience a similar sport in another perspective. It will open my eyes and mind even more than I already know. And it’s a big risk, but right until now, I haven’t been presented with anything that tells me: This is a total waste of time; it’s not worthwhile at all.

Well, well, I’ll be doing my best tomorrow then. Only my best.

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